She’s like sunsets and rainbows after the rain;
a spectacle of soft glowing lights serve
to galvanize those around her.
How is it possible then,
that the one who glows can’t seem to
notice how brightly she shines?
Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Happy International Women’s Day
I’m trying to let you go.
But God helps me because you won’t let go even though our time has ended.
1. When a boy who leaves goosebumps on every inch of your skin tries to play you his favorite song, don’t let him. He’ll get it stuck in your head and under your fingertips and when he leaves, you won’t be able to listen to it without feeling like you’re choking.
2. Don’t let him touch you all over no matter how much you want to feel him against you. Leave a few spots untouched so that when you’re sleeping alone again, at least your left wrist and an inch of your right hip won’t sting with the remaining burn of his mouth.
3. Don’t let him break your ribs.
4. Don’t watch the sunset with him. He’ll poison it. You won’t be able to look at the sky without swallowing a mouthful of him.
5. Don’t mistake wasps for butterflies. Sometimes when you feel your stomach flutter and your hands start to shake it’s pain, not love.
6. Just because he tells you he loves you doesn’t mean he’s going to stay.
7. It’s okay to delete his number after he kisses the pretty girl he met when he was drunk. It’s okay to leave when he hurts you. You don’t have to keep falling into him.
8. When he tells you that you’re beautiful, try to remember that you were beautiful before him too.
9. Just because he reads and smokes cigarettes and talks about the stars doesn’t mean he’s your soulmate.
10. After you kiss him, remember to wash your mouth out right away so he doesn’t burn into your tongue.
11. He’ll kiss you in the rain and take you to little coffee shops. He’ll brush your hair out of your eyes and kiss your nose. He’ll grab your waist and whisper in your ear but six months later you’ll find yourself drunk texting him that you miss him and he won’t respond.
12. Your heart is going to break a million times. It’s going to feel like the world is falling apart around you. Your lungs will stop working some nights. You find yourself grabbing at your bones trying to hold yourself together. You’re going to feel like you’re dying. It’s going to be okay. You’ll find someone else to kiss you goodnight.
for future reference
How many days has it been
since you regret ever
wishing to grow up?
Now finger painting
and smashed crayons sounds
pretty fucking fantastic
when compared to
traveling down this lonely road
we hope to be a happy
Today my friend told me she feels too much and I found myself thinking “I wish I could be the same,” because most times — as of lately — I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I can’t help but be jealous of those who feels because on certain days, I feel like I don’t even fit with humans.
Maybe I’m a robot. A cold and awkwardly functioning robot.
Does anyone feel the same? Or am I just being stupid again.
you make yourself out to be
an unfinished duet. but
if only you could step back,
to the harmony
that makes up every surface of your skin
– consonance –
and those crimson tint on your cheeks,
then you’d realize that you were never unfinished.
nor were you ever a duet.
you are a beautiful melody
that has a life of its own
and it’s a shame that
so many are unable to appreciate your true artistry,
but that only means that for us who do,
we’re the lucky ones to have heard your symphony.
I love you.
At what point in a relationship should you move on because you're not happy in it?
At the point when you’re not happy in it.
I think this is an infatuation —
I can’t stop
thinking about the curves of your
your green irises or
your soft hands.
I want you so much that
my mind don’t know what to do
if I can’t
There are days
when memories of you
still put needles
through broken pieces
of my heart.
And I tell myself
I hate you,
for having so much
power over me
even though you’re gone.
But I don’t. I don’t hate you.
So I tell myself to forget.
And I do. Days later.
Only to wake up one morning
and remember again.